Season 4: The Hailers win the league!

Hochland Hailers  – Deathmare Broncos

TD 2-1

CAS 1-4

The Great Final had finally arrived! Fans swarmed the Aldorf Oldbowl to watch the epic showdown between the best team in the regular season, the Hochland Hailers, and the winner of the Orcidas Best Team award, combining best defense and best offense! Fans of both team were awarded the same amount of seats, filling half the stadium, while the other half was reserved for the general public and VIP as with any event of this category.

Match started with an offensive drive for the Hailers. The human team quickly showed they were on edge and Rob Roy, in one of his worst performances, lost the ball to the crowd. Luckily for them, it was friendly fans that tossed it right back. After that, the first half was uphill for the humans, having to recover the lost ground. Matters only became worst as the vicious werewolves, the towering golems and the hard astrogranite floor of the Reikland Reavers home stadium started working their magic. First it was Tom Collins, leaving the pitch in a stretcher. Then Juan Collins. The Hailers seemed powerless against the Broncos. Their punches lacked strength. Their movements were clumsy. Their tactics were unimaginative. It was as if the powerful necromancer coaching the Broncos had used dark magics to numb the usual stars for the Hailers.

All of the above, of course, against a team that showed no signs of stress and stood their ground. Something, we are told, quite normal when you are an animated corpse. However, the Hailers had something in their favour. They were a team. And, when the usual leaders were unable to carry the team, the second line took over. That had not been foreseen by the Broncos who stood by, as a lineman sneaked through a melee near the end zone and scored at the end of the half! In their defense, nobody really believed Gilius the Bret could actually pick up and score, much less their own team members who thought he was, once again, running away at the first sign of trouble. The referee had to check the Cavalvision images several times before finally awarding the touchdown.

The Broncos were up in players but down in touchdowns so they decided to go for a quick score, to press their advantage further. Despite the Hailers desperate attempt to pin down Terrell Deadvis, the magically enhanced ghoul escaped his pursuers and with a beautifully executed pass, gave the ball to Eddie Smack who scored the equaliser, taking the lead for the Spike! PLayer of the Season trophy.

The Hailers had the rest of the second half to win the game and, to be fair, they did a poor job at it. Scrambling a cage, they tried to push forward but failed. The cage got broken. The defense line crumbled. And Rob Roy was taken down by Ron the Golem who stole the ball. The rest of the Broncos moved in to finish off the match and the Hailers. And it was that point, when all seemed lost for the humans, that Alexei Taalichev, the drunken kislevite catcher decided enough was enough.

“In Soviet Kislev, catcher takles you!” he screamed while headbutting the twice as big Ron Smidge to the ground. Whether the golem fell to a sudden surge of strength from the puny catcher or his stinking vodka breath,we will never know. The ball bounced wildly with all players trying desperately to get it, much like a bunch of bretonnian peasants trying to get a running chicken for supper. Erdred Naubhoff, this season’s surprise star for the human team, snatched it and run 50 yards like his life depended on it (and given the murderous werewolves running after him, it did) to the end zone. Only a lone zombie stood between the blitzer and the touchdown, the victory and untold glory. Erdred run the foul undead down and scored, giving the Hailers the title!

The Hailer players could not believe it. “Almost as good as murdering Helmut” said Tom Collins with tears in his eyes. “A dream come true” exclaimed Captain Rob Roy exultant. “If the city guards ask, you haven’t seen me” muttered Gilius the Bret running out through the sewers before the award ceremony. Gilius was, perhaps, not the hero the Hailers deserved. But he was, without doubt, the one they needed.